Betty ford says i'm here all night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
