I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
