So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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