He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize