the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
