Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
