New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
