on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize