apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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