The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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