do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They have beer where we have blood.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
