This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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