do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
