Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
