Porn is love you can see.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
