I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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