how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
