Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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