So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
