I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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