Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm really busy with my period
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