but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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