Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
