Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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