i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize