at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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