vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
