think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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