you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I need water and some morals
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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