mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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