On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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