Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
