took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
