I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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