He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
