Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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