It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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