The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
