we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize