6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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