oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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