Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
