omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
