East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
