they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
