This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
