My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
