Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did I show you my penis last night?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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