I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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