True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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