Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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