And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I party with great urgency now.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
