pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
