I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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