Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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