I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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