I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
