Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
