...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I believe in your delicious
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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