i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
