We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
