I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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