so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
