The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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