from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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