dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
