She is in my trunk
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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