dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
