The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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