The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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